The Colonel's Wife

In August of 2005 I took a high school basketball team to play in a tournament in Ireland. While I was there my mother had a stroke. When I was in a layover in Boston on my flight home my mom passed away. I wrote this eulogy for her when I returned.

Eulogy For Berniece Gillespie
By Jim Gillespie
August 18, 2005


Mom, it is almost impossible to speak of you in past tense. I cannot accept that all of us are standing here beside your casket. I cannot accept that the terrible disease of diabetes put an end to your life’s work, and cut short your energy and strength. You were an exemplary role model for how people should handle adversity in their life, through courage, determination, and competitive spirit.

Your competitive drive came out as you would join your brothers and sister in games of cards such as yukor, five hundred, and pepper. Your drive to be successful would break out in small arguments with them, but your true love for them would come out as you and they would break down in tears as you and they would say farewell for a short time or for years. Few people knew of your love to dance and go to dances. Be it to a local place to hear a polka band or when you were young and you went to Davis Corners to dance to Guy Lombardo and his Orchestra.

As my mother you taught me how to face adversity with a strength and determination matched by few. As bad health started affecting you, the ways you found to battle continued to amaze me. One way was your love to work outside in the yard. As you got older and faced your first stroke you had me purchase a riding lawn mower so you could continue to care for the yard. Although several people would beg to differ, you always said you had the best looking lawn in Jesup.

It is difficult to put my feelings into words, but I will try to tell you what mom meant to me. She was a loving mother who showed unconditional love. She was a loving wife who ran a household while dad was gone one night or one weak while he was driving truck. I will always remember her grace during adversity, her elegance, her generosity, her sky blue eyes, and as a woman that displayed true sincerity. She was always honest and down to earth with all that she met.

I know mom would want me to tell you how she loved you dearly. She relished her role as aunt, and as all of her brothers and her sister passed away she understood and fulfilled her role as matriarch of the Benson family. Although she was unable to always come and see you she loved when many of her nieces and nephews would come and see her.

She was not limited to blood family either, as every Wednesday and every Sunday she would scour the Waterloo box scores to see how her ‘boy’s’ teams were doing. She always were looking for Rogers score at Ed-Co, Virgil’s score at Dunkerton, Tim’s score at Jesup, or Steve’s score at Fredericksburg. If any of them would call, Mom would always ask me how they thought things were going for them, and if any of them took things to seriously she would always remind me that we would all face tougher challenges in their life then a loss in a basketball game.

If it were not for mom I would not have achieved what I have in this life. She pushed me to go farther in education and she seen that I not only graduated from high school but college as well, denying her-self things so I could get that degree. I can thank mom for my strong passion to succeed and to see that others around me succeed as well.

We have lost a very dear woman. At this moment, the only thing that is left to us is to remember the nice moments in your life. You are no longer, but your spirit, your faith, your devotion, the devotion to the path, remain with us. Mom, I leave you with a tear and a hug. I loved you so very much, a woman, a great mother, a friend and a teacher like you--- I will no longer have.

In the words of Bach; "Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are family and friends."